Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize