I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I touched a dick in church today
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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