what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He? As in you personified your dick?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
