but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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