hell yes lets make some ravioli
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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