He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
