I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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