is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
