is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
