so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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