so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
