when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
