We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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