I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
