Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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