Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
