I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It's shark week go big or go home
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
