ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize