There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
