Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
