You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
