walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
