when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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