Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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