Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
