when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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