His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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