In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize