I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
