I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
