Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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