Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
