if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
