Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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