so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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