I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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