I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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