I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
