I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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