Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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