: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
