i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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