Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
