I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
