He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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