doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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