How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
