he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
We are all done wearing pants today
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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