I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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