hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize