I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
