So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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