IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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