i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
