we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
