I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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