I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
