I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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