I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize