Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
