There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
