She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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