Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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