I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
