I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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