ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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