just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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