Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
