Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
