I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
