I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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