I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
